We all know I've got a man-crush on some Cam Newton, but even I am finding it harder and harder to defend these fashion decisions. It's almost as if Cam is doing this to mess with me by intentionally testing my love and admiration. Why do I think this, other than being a egocentric maniac that is really going to make this post about how Cam's dress makes me feel? Well there are three fashion faux pas that I simply can't tolerate....and I'm not a fashionista, so if they bother me, they are really bad.
- Brown and black don't match. No matter how hard you try folks, this law of color coordination exists and this is a violation.
- Capris.....just can't get down with them. Don't sit the fence. Pick either shorts or pants. Don't waiver.
- UGGs are ugly. The more fur and dangly balls that are attached only accentuate their ugliness.
Cam has now broken faux pas #2 and #3.
Now I can overlook a lot, especially when it is involving someone I adore. But Uggs are pushing the limits of tolerance. We're talking about the girl shoes now that the girliest of all Panther Nation most hated people wears.
Ultimately, there will be no love lost. Only when he makes these atrocious fashion decisions after daunting a uniform other than the Carolina Black and Blue will I have no way of overlooking or defending my favorite, our favorite, quarterback Cam Newton.
As one of the Professors greatest students contested once, "Mr. Dunn, don't ever say anything that discourages girls from wearing yoga pants." Even if it defies the very laws of nature, there are some decisions that we ultimately find beneficial enough to permit. Just know, at the core, some things are just Ugg-ly.
By the Professor, aka Tony Dunn
Follow him on Twitter @Cat_Chronicles